Heads or Tails

I haven't done Heads or Tails in a couple of weeks, and I have so missed playing. This regular blogging thing is difficult lately. Is anyone else struggling? Here's to me blogging on a regular basis again! ;-)

This weeks theme is...TAILS - "Rhymes with Ball"

Let's see, fall rhymes with ball. I once took a terrible fall. After a whole day of drinking and eating fruit soaked in vodka, I thought I was running outside to vomit. Who wouldn't need to vomit after a day like that? Yes, I was a classy lady. Anyway, instead of running outside, I ended up running into a basement...that didn't have stairs. Ouch!!

I don't remember getting out of that basement, but I do remember my dear friend having to help me get cleaned up. The basement was a gravel type floor, and I was a mess. My knees and face really took a beating. After I got cleaned up, we went out to a bar and did a bit more drinking. I even remember riding on the back of someone's motorcycle.

This all took place on a Saturday, and I started a new job as a teller at a bank on Monday. When I arrived at work, they were shocked at how I looked. They asked if I had seen a doctor, and I had to tell them that I hadn't. They insisted that I go get checked out, because they were afraid that I could have internal bleeding. I left my first day of work early. I think I really made an impression!

Now, I know that wasn't necessarily a good impression, and I also know that I am making light of this situation. It was a really dark period in my life. I was drinking far too often and far too much. I was lonely, and I was filling that void with alcohol. Sunday morning, after my fall, I went to church, which is something that I had been doing for awhile. I was struggling inside. I wanted Jesus, but I also wanted to keep drinking and partying the way that I was. This doesn't work though. The closer you get to Him, the more you realize that there are some things you have to turn away from.

This struggle continued for 2.5 years after my fall. It was a long journey for me, but I won't say that it was all bad. I had wonderful periods when I would hardly drink at all. I had other periods when I would drink, and it didn't seem to have too much control over me. However, there were still those other periods where the alcohol had way too much control over me. These periods were dark and scary for me.

What matters is that it has almost been 12 years since my fall, and alcohol no longer has any control over me, and it hasn't had any control in almost 9 years. I can now drink socially, meaning one or two, without any fear that it will regain control. I prayed often, and even though I had quit attending church, God helped me get through those dark days. He helped me see that if I wanted my relationship with Jeff to last, I was going to have to make some major changes. In these 9 years, I have grown closer and closer to Jesus...and Jeff. Both relationships have been amazing, but I am pretty sure that my relationship with Jeff wouldn't be as amazing without Jesus. There is the possibility that it may not be at all. Thank you Jesus for all that you have done for me!